– Psalm 119:116
Shameless Hope
One of the biggest areas of weakness in my Christian walk is in being able to openly share the Gospel with folks I don't know - you know . . . Strangers! It wasn't always like that though. When I was first saved I was one on-fire Christian. It just so happened that I was saved two months before I entered the Art Institute, and my "peers" at the time were "free" thinkers and "darkness" worshipers. You know the kind . . . witches, vampires, stoners, freaks, etc., etc. Everyone – I mean Everyone got a big dose of "JEEESus" with both Fire and Brimstone barrels blasting away at their sin and debauchery.
Needless to say I clashed with my classmates like plaid pants and polkadot shirts, and I got into quite a few confrontations because of it. So what changed? I guess over the years, as my new Christian "honeymoon" period ended, I grew tired of always having to defend myself (notice that my focus was on myself). I never made much headway with the art school kids and I know it was because of my accusatory and not-so-"Grace"-full approach. Looking back I wish that I could have shown more of the Love of Jesus in my approach, but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.
I must say that some years later I had the divine appointment, and yes, the joy of working with a witch (not the black hat, toads, and warts kind, but the mother earth, love-spells, and chanting kind . . . still however, very much a witch), and we had a good working relationship. When she found out I was a Christian, she started trying to shock me with some of her life views, but instead of taking the bait, I just shared with her that even though I personally didn't believe in what she did, all I could do was show her the love of Christ and pray for her. I also shared what Jesus had done for me and how He changed my life. I would also ask her if I could pray for her from time-to-time. She would always decline but I know that the gesture touched her heart and she even told me once that she had never met a Christian like me and she even used the word "refreshing.". Who knows, she may just be a Christian now because of the seed God had me plant all those years ago.
All that to say that I haven't always struggled with personal evangelism and even now, if the right situation presents itself, I can comfortably share Jesus, and everyone who knows me, knows that I am a Christian. It's just the street-kind of evangelism that I'm not comfortable with, and when I try to look at the root behind this lack of confidence, I have to admit that it all boils down to pride and fear (which go hand-in-hand by the way).
What will people think of me?
What if they get angry or violent?
What if they ask a question I don't know?
What if I do it wrong?
I know that all of these "what ifs" are silly but I must confess that they still hold me back. I am learning though, that if I will just open my mouth, that Jesus will "uphold me" and the Holy Spirit will give me the words to say. And no matter the person's response, I can have confidence in my faith. God won't let me down and I won't ever be ashamed of my hope which is life in Christ forever.
So how do I get over my fear? I could tell you that I am going door-to-door this weekend to share God's Word, but I wouldn't be telling you the truth. The truth is that I need your prayers in this area. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think God has called me to be a street preacher, so my goal isn't to take up residence on a downtown corner and hand out tracts, but I would like to be able to openly share Jesus with the Starbucks barista or the clerk at Home Depot. I would love to be able to share Jesus while I'm in the checkout line at the grocery store, or while getting my hair cut, and I know that I will get there. I just need to get over myself and let the Holy Spirit guide me so that before long, it will be second nature to me. Knowing this and doing this are world's apart however, so please pray for me as I seek God's face and I ask Him for a new boldness and courage in my personal evangelism, and I will pray for you too.
Prayer
Father I need Your help. I need to get rid of the pride that has a grip on my life so that I can openly share Your Word. I know that it is silly to be fearful, but at the same time I am letting that fear keep me from sharing the love of Jesus. I am asking You to put into my heart, the burning desire to share Your Love, Grace, and Forgiveness with everyone. I am asking You to reveal those moments that I need to step out in faith and open my mouth in obedience. I am asking You to take the fear of rejection out of my heart and replace it with the joy of revelation. Uphold me Lord, according to Your Word, that I may live for You - unashamed, unafraid, and unintimidated.
Have a blessed day everyone!
– Richard
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